Maybe those who see themselves as an emerging movement within the church are responding to a God who is both within and outside the church; a God sensed in every part of life yet never pinned down to any part of life. Maybe we who call ourselves the 'gathered people of God' are recognising or being converted by the activity of God in those who could be named the ungathered or dispersed people of God.
4 comments:
I have come across a lot of scattered people of God over the last few months hurt by the "limited"gathered Church.
I am wondering what people, who have been hurt and who have no desire to be gathered in again by the institutional church, are thinking in regards to the living of their faith? Is there a sense of being freed in some way? Is there a new world of experience opening up for them? Do people see themselves as post Christian? How do they see a way forward? Are they happier? Are they disillusioned with all the church or just their experience of church? My sense is that there is something going on outside the gathered church that the gathered church does not see.
I consider myself someone who has been hurt by the institutional church. It's been 8 years since I left and today is the first day I chose to look up a church in my area..I really don't know why, and I came across this blog...which just seems too coincidental to ignore and I think I came across it for a reason.
The degree to which I was hurt and let down by the church I thought I belonged to is indescribable. I belonged to a church that was based on oppression, judgement and conformity. Judgement by God took a back seat and judgement by the church was priority, I was judged for what I wore, what I said, who I was related to, where I went to school and where I worked, to name a few.
When I left I was told I no longer had any faith in God, that I could never be saved and I had no hope. I discovered once I left the oppression I was experiencing in this church that I did indeed feel free, in every sense of the word. I felt I had a strong and real faith that was my own, not one I was forced to agree with and spoon fed by the church.. and I was no longer judged by others, I only want to be judged by God.
There was a new world of experience that opened up for me and the most amazing things have happened to me since. I thank God every day for the life I have and I know he has a clear purpose with me. I don't see myself as post christian. I am happier and I do see a way forward but at times it is exceptionally difficult to maintain a personal faith without the support of others. I believe there can be faith without the church, I am proof of that, but I acknowledge that it is hard, and often lonely. Especially when I am trying to determine, after years of brainwashing fear-based teachings, what exactly it is that I believe. However, taking the step to return to a church is easier said than done. I am aware of the bitterness, resentment, distrust and skepticism towards the church that I still hold within me, as much as I wish I didn't have these feelings.
I am extremely disillusioned by my experience but I don't think I am disillusioned with all the church...yet. I want to believe there is a church out there with good people who I can trust but I think the hurt I have experienced is too deep and the subsequent fear I have of the institutional church is still too strong. The fear I have is based on judgement, not by God, I welcome that judgement, but unfair judgement by the church and those belonging to it. It is difficult to expose yourself to that again, or take the 'risk' of being subject to that sort of judgement when you have escaped it once already.
Hi Alexis,
Thanks for your detailed and open responses to the questions I posed. I'm not sure where to begin. I feel angry and saddened by the description of the church you were once part of.
Years ago I remember reading a book called 'Jesus spells freedom' I was attracted to the title, but as I read it and compared it to some of the experiences that I had of church, there seemed to be an enormous gulf. In the four Gospels all those who encounter Jesus seem to go on their way glad to have met him. I have a feeling that Jesus was more interested in the well being of people he met than in them believing the 'right' theology. I think that he valued relationships above belief or before belief.
I'm interested (and pleased)to hear you say that a new world of experience opened up for you and that you recognised your own faith.
I am interested in connecting up with people like yourself who are living 'without the church' not to bring them back into the institutional church but if possible to assist them somehow on their way.
If you would like to connect further you can contact me through the Email address (or phone)on the church website linked to this blog.
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