Emerging Church and the brain washed people of God

I have been wondering a little more intentionally lately about why people allow themselves to be dictated to by churches who still treat women as being lesser to men in the church. These churches say that women and women are equal but men and women have different roles. However, men can preach to women but women cannot preach to men. In some churches women are no longer allowed to be elders.
How can men make their partners attend churches like these? Why do men allow male clergy to get away with this kind of discrimination? Why do women go along with it? Why would parents want to bring their children up in this sort of environment? Is there something else controlling them? Fear? Fear that if they leave they will lose their salvation or that they are not good Christian women or men? Could this be a form of brain washing? How could people be tricked into thinking this is the gospel?
Has anyone left this kind of church and discovered that they are still loved by God?